2005-05-27 - 4:47 p.m.

After giving it much thought and talking it over with a couple of confidants (including, and most importantly, my husband), I wrote a letter to my future sister-in-law and mailed it yesterday. It says:

Dear (Name),

I'm sorry if anything I have done has offended you. I never intended to hurt you. I hope that over time I can prove to you through my actions that I am not a mean person. We might not always see eye-to-eye, but I do hope that perhaps some day we can find a way to have a relationship. I truly wish you the best.

Love,
(Me)

She should receive it in today's mail. The ball is back in her court.

I am really surprised, and very disappointed in my brother. I guess he is trying not to get involved, to remain as impartial as he can be, but it hurts me that I haven't heard from him. I'm not hoping that he'd talk about this at all, but he hasn't gotten in touch just to say hi. I guess he must feel as awkward as I do, and I can't blame him. Still, blood is thicker and all that.

Thinking back over the past ten months, I realize that not only did my brother not give my husband and me a wedding gift or even a card; he did not acknowledge my birthday either. Trust me, this is not about the monetary aspects at all. I am hurt that I didn’t even receive a card for either occasion. I am hurt that they let a song (and a completely blown out of proportion misunderstanding around it) get in the way of family and relationships. I am hurt that he is sending me the message that our relationship no longer matters to him now that he has her.

I know, I really know, that I am being sensitive. I feel attacked and insulted and uncared about. I am hurt more than I letting anyone know. So, I am trying to fix this. But, I will not grovel, I will not beg. I am taking the high road; I am extending the olive branch. We'll see if it's accepted.

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