2003-09-05 - 10:59 a.m.

I have the song "Kung Fu Fighting" stuck in my head this morning. I have no idea how it got there or why it won't leave. Perhaps I've been watching a bit more of "I love the 70s" on VH1 than I realized. Sheesh.

So, C has the boys tonight and I'm trying to decide what to do with myself. I usually just stay in and get stuff like laundry, beautifying (and my roots are so ready for blonding once again) and/or movie/tv watching done on those nights - that's every other Friday night for those of you keeping score. I'm usually exhausted by the time Friday nights roll around so staying in and having a quiet night is just fine with me. But, tonight there's a show that I'd really love to see and I know I'll regret it if I miss it, but I hate going by myself. Sure, there'll be plenty of people I know there and before I met C I did this a hundred times before (although I really did hate it then, too, but had no other options) but I just feel weird. I just don't think it'd be the same now that I've gone to hundreds of shows with C since we met last year. I'm used to being with him and people are used to us being together. I wonder if I'd be able to have fun without him.

That being said, am I too dependent on him? I don't feel like it. It just feels more like I finally met someone who enjoys doing the same things I enjoy doing, so how great is that that we can both enjoy ourselves and each other's company at the same time? I feel fully capable of doing things and enjoying things without him - both alone and with other people. There's just something about going to a show by myself.

So, why don't I ask a friend to go with me? Well, I actually did that and am waiting for a reply. But, I feel weird...like I expect her to say or think that I'm only asking because C can't go. Is that too junior high?

Oh my God, I'm just making way too much of this. I'll just see how I feel later today. Jeez.

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