2003-05-28 - 11:20 a.m.

Wow, it's been a long time. I just haven't felt like I've had much to say. I still don't, sorry.

Okay, so I am mildly addicted to these Second Chance things. I think it's because not only am I a complete voyeur, but I'm a hopeless romantic at heart. About a year ago I was lonely and sad and feeling the effects of my upcoming birthday and the horribly scary idea of being a woman in her mid-thirties who had no husband, boyfriend or prospects. I know that everyone is on their own schedule and all that rot but I was seriously wondering, on a daily basis, what is wrong with me? I mean, seriously...

So, I somehow started thinking about this high school boyfriend of mine, Mike G. who I just absolutely adored. I think my mother told me that he was still single and getting his Ph. D. at UCLA (I forget exactly how he got back into my head, to be honest) and I implored her to get me his e-mail address because while I knew that he was living in California, you just never know. Yes, I thought that if I got in touch with him, 15 years later, that we could get back together, and live happily ever after. What? You never know. As it turned out, the best we could do was get Mike's mom's e-mail address and before I got up the nerve to get in touch with her, I met C. I'm glad it worked out the way it did, but I wonder "what if" just a little bit. Of course, he could be gay, in a committed relationship, or completely hate my guts for being an immature loser in high school.

So, the more I read these "Second Chances" things the more I wonder if anyone has actually seen one, recognized him- or herself in the scenario and written back. I think I'd be super flattered if someone tried this hard to track me down but I wonder if I'd ever do anything about it. It seems like it might be a bit creepy. I don't know.

More soon, I'm going to try to be better about updating more often.

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