2003-04-08 - 9:55 a.m.

Today is something like day 3 or 4 in a row where work has dragged (and I mean draaaaagged). There's nothing going on here and I can only find myself something to do for so long. I'd love to just not be here, but as soon as I'm not here, the shit tends to hit the fan. Story of my life, really.

Thus, since work is so boring, I feel like a diary entry will like be boring, too, even though I don't always write about work. I just feel bored and boring. Does this happen to you?

This Saturday C and I went to 2 afternoon shows, one at the Middle East and one at the Chopping Block, and then to a friend's house for game night. Since we started drinking at about 2:00 in the afternoon, by the time we got to the house party, we were pretty well lit. Not drunk, but on the way. C got himself a six-pack of PBR talls - a bad sign. Some highlights include him pulling down his pants to show my very gay friend P his boxer briefs (it made sense, sort of, at the time and it turned out they both were wearing the same underwear), C smoking behind my back (I'm still not sure why he thinks I won't smell it or taste it on him) - I "got him back" by smoking right in front of him and he really, really hated it (I like this reverse psychology thing), and driving through every section of Boston while following my friends home (I later found out they were lost - nice). Sunday was a waste of a day with both of us hung waaaay over. We stayed in bed until noon (which ended up really being 1:00 once I remembered that it was Daylight Savings Time) and eventually showered and headed to Legal Seafood for a very early dinner or late lunch - whatever. If someone told me when I woke up that I'd actually feel well enough to eat seafood in a few hours, I'd never have believed it. I'm a next day puker, after all. Yeck.

Yeah, so I'm keeping up with the gym. This boring work situation is actually helping me with the gym thing - I can't wait to get away from my desk every day at noon for about an hour.

I'm so stupid. Last week I started researching places for our wedding reception, even though we're not engaged yet. I got myself all wrapped up in it and was feeling all confident and cocky about it. This weekend C and I were just talking generically and I asked how old I'd be, did he think, when we got engaged. He told me a year older than I am now. I was crushed. Okay, my birthday is in 4 months so it could happen 4 months from now. I guess I just thought, assumed that it would be like soon. Yeah, 4 months is soon and we haven't even known each other for 6 months. I need to get a grip. He told me that he wants to make sure that I can handle his situation. He means that he wants to make sure I am cool with the three kids thing and that I am aware of what it's really like and how things will really be once we're married. He wants his daughter to stay over at my place with us some weekend, and maybe his sons some night, too. I told him it sounds like he wants to test me. He denied that but part of me still feels that way, and I'm slightly hurt. I mean, I understand but I've been going under the assumption that I'd deal with it once I needed to. Maybe I was being optimistic or naive. I was most definitely being impatient (one of my worst traits anyway). I need to get over my self, and quick. Anyway, I'm definitely not doing any more research until I have a ring and I'm not bringing up the subject again. Remind me I said that.

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