2003-03-03 - 2:11 p.m.

This weekend was a blast. Friday night C and I went out for a really nice dinner and then rented movies. It was so nice to chill out and be alone with him. Even nicer was that he bought me the framed picture of my brother (the rock star) from TT's and surprised me with it!!! The picture is incredible and I simply cannot believe how kind and thoughtful C is. Well, I can believe it, because I know him and love him but what I can't believe is how lucky I am that he's in my life. He told me he just had to buy it for me because it belonged in my family. When I told my mother about it, she goes, "Is this guy for real?" and my aunt goes "Are you in love?" "Yes!" I said. "Is he?" she asked, "Yes," I said, blushing.

Saturday afternoon we were invited to the Bruins game by the woman who introduced us. She had tickets for her husband's company's luxury box and 16 of us went! When we walked into the box, I nearly died. Those things are kick ass I tell you. My brother and 2 of his bandmates were also there, as was C's friend J and a few other people we know from the "scene." My brother exclaimed, "This is like being in a hotel room, walking out on your balcony and seeing a hockey game!" Well said. Anyway, the Bs lost in Overtime but following the game was a Hollywood vs. Bruins alum game. Ken Casey from the Dropkicks and a guy from Kicked in the Head played for the Bruins team. Anyway, after about a period of this extra game, everyone but me, C and J had left. One thing led to another and C and I ended up getting busy in the luxury box bathroom. (Okay, hate the term "Getting busy" but it surely wasn't "making love" in that setting...you get what I mean). It was pretty awesome and I know it meant/means a lot to C, so it's cool. He's all about the bragging about it now and apparently told some guy he works with - Jesus.

I'm just going to pretend that I wasn't a complete and total bitch to C at the end of the night and that we didn't get into an argument. I'm also going to pretend that he would not stay at my place, which was like a knife in my heart, but then came back after stopping for a beer and laughing at the rednecks doing karaoke at the place in my neighborhood (yeah, I couldn't for the life of me figure out why he was all smiles when he came back - I'll try to remember that place is good for a laugh the next time I'm feeling down). I also won't mention that I cried almost as hard as I've ever done that night after he did come back and we talked and a good part of yesterday morning (I was up for about 2 1/2 hours before him). I felt like shit for making him feel so bad. I still do, actually, but all is well with us. My solution is to watch how much I drink. It's weird, I'll be going along just fine, having an awesome time, and then all of a sudden I get nasty. It doesn't happen all the time, but the sheer fact that it happened Saturday, and that I made C feel so bad, is more than enough of a lesson for me. I know what I have with him and no amount of booze is worth losing him. I also know that there's nothing I can do to take it back or change what has already happened, so I need to let it go and stop beating myself up about it.

Yesterday was the baby shower. I cannot fucking believe that they went through the trouble of having it in a restaurant and then served pizza buffet style. Is it me, or is that kind of tacky? Maybe I'm just snobby. Whatever, it seemed odd to me. Afterwards, I went to C's and hung out for a bit with him and his daughter. Then he came over to my place and we watched "Donnie Darko" before getting to bed early. I was kind of disappointed that he didn't love it as much as I did the 1st time I saw it, but I know it's kind of confusing and he was tired. Before we watched the movie, C took a shower. When he came out he told me that while he was in there, he had a vision that we were married. God, I hope he's a psychic! All in all, a fantastic weekend.

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